Tragedy displaced this Mission teen, but grief left her lost

1 week ago 42

The United Way of South Texas is collecting contributions for the family, which will receive 100% of all donations. You can help them by calling the United Way of South Texas at (956) 686-6331 and ask about the Spirit of Christmas campaign.

MISSION — For Claudette Silva, her grandmother was more than just her grandmother, she was her savior, her biggest supporter and she was her home. She was the one Claudette felt earned the title of mom.

Although she was born in McAllen, Claudette, 19, was raised in Mexico and spent the first four years of her life living with her biological mother, Daniela, in Reynosa until her grandmother took her in.

At around 7, Claudette and her grandmother, Blanca Estela Hernandez, moved to Cancun, the place she came to call home.

“I grew up with the traditions from over there, with everything that is southern Mexico,” Claudette said in Spanish.

Although she didn’t visit the beach often she recalled living in a home with a pool nearby and spending hours there just swimming.

Having lived in an area surrounded by beaches Claudette believed in mermaids, naturally, and remembered searching for them each time they visited the beach.

“It was a beautiful childhood,” Claudette said with a smile.

Throughout her childhood she and her grandmother would visit their family in Reynosa every Christmas, many of those in which her biological mother wasn’t present.

Prior to the lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Claudette and Blanca had made plans to visit their family during spring break.

She recalled her grandmother jumping for joy, something Claudette said was an unexpected reaction, when the schools extended spring break another two weeks.

“I never imagined that day of school was going to be the last time I would see the friends I grew up with,” Claudette said, adding that she had been with the same classmates from third grade until 10th grade. “It’s something that weighs on me still, that I never got to say bye to my friends.”

Although the plan was to visit family in Reynosa they were unable to make the trip.. In October, Claudette moved to Reynosa where she ended up staying with her biological mother for a year in attempts of becoming a family. Blanca went back to Cancun during that time.

Claudette had to complete her first year of high school online. That summer, her grandmother came to visit her and ended up getting severely sick with COVID-19.

While her aunts and uncles had made the decision to treat their mother at home, Claudette was the one who took on the responsibility of caring for her.

“It was three months where I had to quickly grow up,” Claudette said. “I had to take care of her, I didn’t know how to give injections, I didn’t know how to check respiration.”

By June, Blanca had gotten so sick that Claudette ended up moving to the first floor of the house where she helped bring in medications and other necessities, and helped with dinner.

They also brought in a doctor and nurses to give Blanca ’round the clock care. One day, the doctor told her family that they should start preparing to say their goodbyes.

Fortunately her grandmother was able to recover, albeit slowly. Claudette thought she had fully recovered except for times when Blanca would get tired, even when just speaking.

The teen had to miss a year of school because of other expenses being necessary at the time. At least her grandmother, whom she affectionately referred to as her mom, was OK.

But it turns out that this wasn’t the end of Claudette’s troubles.

“Suddenly one day, it was a Thursday, they told me ‘on Monday you’re moving to the U.S.,’” Claudette said, adding that they were sending her to live with a family friend and would begin attending school in the U.S.

She recalled telling her grandmother she would return to visit her during the weekends but learned that wouldn’t be possible due to COVID-19 restrictions at the time.

In August 2021, Claudette moved to Mission with a family friend.

Due to the language barrier, she had to start high school and repeat her freshman year.

She recalled how difficult it was to go from being the top student in Cancun to now failing all her classes in the U.S.

Despite the challenges Claudette was determined to learn English and get her grades up to make her grandmother proud.

“My mom (grandmother) always told me that school was very important, education was very important and that I always had to be the best,” Claudette said.

By sophomore year she fought her way into taking AP classes as well as joining several clubs in hopes of getting into a good college.

Blanca was always so proud of her accomplishments.

During that school year she would frequently visit her grandmother in Reynosa where she would wait for her with a plate of her favorite foods.

Blanca wasn’t the type of person to show affection through hugs and kisses, but Claudette knew she loved her because she would do things like cook for her or buy her things simply because she knew she needed them.

“She learned exactly what I liked,” Claudette said with tears streaming down her face. “She always paid attention to details.”

Claudette didn’t know it then, but that summer proved to be their last together.

Even though her grandmother had fully recovered, Claudette explained that the pandemic left her “all skin and bones — my mom.”

At the start of her junior year, Claudette returned to Mission and during that time Blanca returned to Cancun on Sept. 3.

Though she couldn’t be there for Claudette’s 18th birthday, her grandmother reassured her that she and the family had already bought her gift and she had left an extra gift for her.

She had also promised to take her to a nice dinner for her birthday when she got back.

Two weeks after her birthday, on Wednesday, Oct. 12, Claudette woke up wanting to get really dressed up for school, putting on makeup and curling her hair.

She remembered having a great day at school with her friends and boyfriend complimenting her, but her life was about to change forever once she got home.

“I had a really weird feeling but I was so happy because my day had been so good, super good,” Claudette said.

When her family friend finally arrived at the house she told Claudette the worst news one could hear.

Her grandmother had died.

“The moment my mom (grandmother) died I realized I was no longer a little girl, I was alone now,” Claudette said.

At the wake she couldn’t believe that it was her grandmother lying in the casket. She couldn’t believe she was actually dead; and, in fact, Claudette swore she would see her stomach moving as if she was breathing.

“I thought she was sleeping and I couldn’t convince myself,” Claudette said, adding that she spent the entire night by her mom’s side, even sleeping next to the casket. “No one else understood me when I would say that I needed to see her.”

Blanca was buried in Rio Bravo, Mexico.

After her grandmother died, Claudette felt like she was alone.

“Daniela (biological mother) returned to Cabos with her kids, she returned to her family, my tia returned to her daughter … my tio returned to his home with his kids,” Claudette said through tears. “I returned to Mission; I returned to a home that wasn’t my family.”

Claudette explained that her grief had caused her to go into a depression, and she didn’t attend school for two weeks. Her grades began to drop and she wanted to quit every club and extracurricular activity she was in at school.

She had closed herself off from everyone, including her family.

“From the time I turned 18 everything went downhill, and I haven’t been able to fully recover,” Claudette said with a shaky voice.

Claudette would then face her own health crisis as a direct result of her grief.

In March she got really sick with inflamed kidneys, internal bleeding and couldn’t even manage to eat. She recalled the doctor explaining to her that her issues had occurred due to her not taking care of herself for months

This was the wake-up call Claudette needed.

She began trying harder in school again, and even managed to pick up her grades — something she said she was doing for her grandmother.

At the end of the school year the family friend she has been living with told Claudette she would no longer be to house her anymore due to her daughter and her family moving in with her.

Claudette has been homeless ever since. And while she’s not living in the streets, her only possession is an old car and some clothes.

She was able to find a place to stay, a sanctuary in the form of her boyfriend and his family who opened their home to Claudette.

She has been living there since the start of her senior year where she continues to excel in her classes in hopes of going to a good college and building a life her grandmother would be proud of.

Claudette is currently also working part time at Whataburger to help support herself financially as well as take care of her car, the only thing left that truly belongs to her.

Even though it will never truly feel like home without her grandmother, if there is anything Claudette needs for Christmas it would be to have a home of her own again while she works to honor Blanca’s memory.