‘Say something’: Victim’s harrowing story highlights need for domestic violence awareness in RGV

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EDINBURG — Cassandra Bravo fought through tears to tell her story here on Thursday.

She said that in 2013 her then-husband had punched her so hard that it knocked her out and broke her jaw in three different places. The reason: She asked him for a ride to the University of Texas at Brownsville.

Bravo said she believed she had a support group among her friends, but they blamed her for taking the abuse and not reporting him.

She said it wasn’t easy because she had nowhere else to go.

Bravo felt alone and without support, that is until she met a dog she named Chochie on the university grounds who she bonded with.

“I still was abused in those months before I left, but Chochie would stand in front of me to make sure I wasn’t being hit or she would take the hits for me,” Bravo said in tears. “Since then, she had passed on, but I still remember her for being there for me when nobody else was.”

This harrowing tale was shared at an event held by the Rio Grande Valley District Attorney Coalition on Thursday. The coalition in partnership with the University of Rio Grande Valley Criminal Justice Department and Criminal Justice Honor Society hosted the educational event for Domestic Violence Awareness Month on Thursday morning.

In hopes of reaching the youth, the district attorneys from Hidalgo, Willacy, Starr and Cameron counties united with UTRGV to provide children and young adults with prevention education, resources for violence victims and a first-hand account from a survivor of domestic violence.

Several middle and high schools from across the Valley joined UTRGV students at the event and heard from Hidalgo County District Attorney Toribio “Terry” Palacios, Willacy County District Attorney Annette Hinojosa, Starr County District Attorney Allen “Gocha” Ramirez and Cameron County District Attorney Luis V. Saenz about the importance of raising awareness.

Edinburg Mayor Ramiro Garza Jr. welcomed everyone attending and highlighted the reason everyone gathered at the theater.

“All of us have a role to play in this and you are not alone,” Garza said. “If you witness anything that is happening, say something …”

Palacios added that domestic violence is typically a private thing, but because it causes a ripple effect throughout the community that makes others responsible to get involved.

“We must let our victims know that the community is with them even though it’s such a private thing,” Palacios said. “… (T)hat’s what awareness is all about, letting the victims know that we have resources that can help them out. They are not alone.”

Palacios then recognized the “Caballero” program. Schools in Willacy County have a program where they are teaching kids respect, etiquette, how to treat another person and how to treat a woman.

The Hidalgo County DA believes such programs have been lost in education and should be brought back.

“… (B)ecause our parents are not teaching,” Palacios said. “We have our kids eight hours a day. I think we can start teaching etiquette and that will prevent domestic violence.”

Saenz said that not talking about domestic violence makes it worse and that it’s especially important to talk about it with children and teenagers in order to prevent it from happening.

Though the subject was bleak, Saenz said he was hopeful because of the efforts made to reach the youth regarding the topic.

“I’m full of hope as I stand here before you because these fourth and fifth graders sitting here listening to us and talking to us and discussing with us domestic violence,” Saenz said. “So, I’m full of hope that one day we will get back to our basic principles and values.”

When Hinojosa asked the audience to raise their hands if they’ve ever experienced domestic violence, nearly half the auditorium slowly complied. She reassured those who didn’t wish to raise theirs that it’s OK not to.

She added that law enforcement often gets a bad reputation for their handling of domestic violence cases, but that victims should still call police. Hinojosa said that people who make those claims are the same people who don’t want you calling the police for help.

“They’re there to help,” Hinojosa said. “They’re the first responders. They’re the ones you call first and then comes everyone else afterward.”

Hinojosa then appealed to people who have friends that are suffering from domestic violence stating that a true friend would risk losing a friendship in order to help, adding that some people who suffer from the abuse are often too afraid to say anything, so someone has to help.

“Because that’s being a true friend,” Hinojosa said. “They may not appreciate it now, but they’ll appreciate it later, especially when they’re still alive, especially when they haven’t been hurt.”

The Willacy County district attorney added that not only are women victims of domestic violence, but men as well. She stated that it’s always happened, but people don’t talk about it because it’s more difficult for men to come forward with allegations against their partners.

“I think law enforcement would agree with that,” Hinojosa said. “Those are really hard to say out loud because they’re supposed to be men, ‘I don’t get beat up,’ but that happens too, so it’s OK to report that.”

Echoing a similar sentiment was Dr. Rosalva Resendiz, from the UTRGV Criminal Justice Department, who said that in academia they use the term intimate partner violence because domestic violence doesn’t only happen to people living together.

Resendiz said that cases of violence against a partner can happen with high school and even middle school students in relationships.

“It’s important to understand that violence occurs in intimate relationships, not only just in households,” Resendiz said.

Adding a spin to the subject was Ramirez who spoke about how children are also affected by domestic violence, especially when they are the one’s on the receiving end.

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Ramirez spoke about a trial he’s set to try next month where the victim is a 12-year-old boy who can’t hear.

“An autistic boy who was abused so badly that when he was finally rescued he had six broken ribs, some of them healing, some of the old broken ribs,” Ramirez said. “He had cauliflower ear from the beatings he would take at home. He was missing teeth that had been knocked out by his stepfather.”

According to Ramirez, his ribs were so damaged that he had to have surgery, adding that his stepfather’s excuse for the abuse was that he was teaching him manners.

For Bravo, it wasn’t until September 2014 that she finally escaped her situation. Her husband was arrested after he chased Bravo down the street and neighbors called the police.

“I still carry the scars, both visible and invisible,” Bravo said. “… (D)on’t let anybody tell you that nobody wants to hear your story. Don’t be where the culture is at. ‘Whatever happens at home stays at home’ — please be the generation that at least breaks that.”

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