Petals on the Lake honors victims, survivors of domestic violence

BROWNSVILLE, Texas (ValleyCentral) — The Rio Grande Valley District Attorney Coalition hosted the Petals on the Lake ceremony on Tuesday in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The remembrance honored victims and survivors.

Multiple law enforcement agencies, advocacy groups, and District Attorneys from the four Valley counties gathered to pay their respects at Texas Southmost College in Brownsville.

Gocha Ramirez, Starr County District Attorney, told the attendees, “Domestic violence happens more often than we know.”

Ramirez said his department could prosecute these cases every day. However, stopping the problem first requires acknowledging that it exists.

Every speaker at Thursday's event addressed the need to break the cycle of domestic violence, with a particular focus on boys and young men.

Willacy County District Attorney Annette Hinojosa brought a group of young men from a Raymondville elementary school to highlight the school program as a way to teach boys to grow up to be the kind of men the community wants to embrace.

Hinojosa, speaking to one of the assembled students, asked, “Your mom said you were very excited to come today. So she talked to you about what the event was about? And she talked to you about domestic violence, right? That starts at home.”

Lililana Mendez, Crime Victims Unit Supervisor for the Cameron County District Attorney's office, and organizer of the ceremony, told attendees about the trends her office has seen when it comes to domestic violence incidents, “We get more cases. Perpetrators get younger, victims get younger, and the cases get worse.”

Domestic abuse survivor Veronica Rivas shared her story from the podium. Rivas told the gathering, "We need to focus on our children, on our youth, those who are growing up, to help them have that mentality to never assault a woman."

Rivas implored the crowd, "Let's help the women, men, and children who suffer from domestic violence, and lastly, we all have the right to feel safe in our homes and live a life free from evil." 

With Cameron County District Attorney Luis Saenz, she unveiled a disturbing picture of herself with a bloody, bruised face after a brutal beating at the hands of her partner. During an interview after the event, she told ValleyCentral he was sentenced to 25 years in prison.

Community outreach organizations were also on hand at TSC to provide information about resources and programs available. Cynthia Torres, Outreach Coordinator with Friendship of Women, also spoke to attendees. Torres spotlighted her work with the Battling Intervention Prevention Program.

“The BIPP program focuses on centering accountability and supporting survivors through educating those who caused harm to their partners,” Torres said.

Torres said accountability is not punishment, that punishment alone would not change behaviors. Change can only come by living with the truth of their actions and making different choices.

While Torres works with adults, Friendship of Women also has a Primary Prevention Educator who works with boys to develop healthy relationships.

"Not only boys, but a lot of men, what they're not getting is emotional support. They don't have the building blocks to express emotions without being judged or without fearing judgment," Torres said. "They tell me that the fear of judgment is not from women, but it’s from other men. So it tells me very powerfully that it’s other men perpetuating that cycle that keeps men from receiving and acting on that support."

The Texas Council on Family Violence reported 161 victims of domestic violence deaths in the state last year.

“It’s difficult to approach a lawyer, talk about your case, and report it to the police. Stay up all night dealing with it. We’re not recognizing that. And then on top of that, the social stigma of being labeled as a victim. Which is why we very tactfully and very intentionally refer to people as survivors. The victims are the ones that we’re here to recognize with the petals on the lake. They’re the ones who passed.”