Commentary: Forgiving and being forgiven

Christmas brings us many joyful adventures and memories, but one of the most precious feelings that we might want to enjoy now is that of forgiving and being forgiven for something from which we need to move forward.

Throughout our lives we might have felt hurt with unkind words or actions from insensitive folks in our paths. Or maybe we were the culprits. Most of us try to ignore those bad moments, but we never forget them. This year, for Christmas, we must remember Christ’s words: “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Here is a recollection from my friend’s growing-up years in Houston.

Having reached the eighth grade, Tony eagerly asked to be registered for a choir class. He felt ready, as he was learning to sing by hanging out with his dad and other family members who played at weddings. But when he stood on the choir risers trying to sing with the others, the choir director rather rudely said to Tony in front of all the other students, “We have to move you to another class because choir is not for you.”

Tony was humiliated and stood his ground. He wanted director to see his face as he kept asking, “why” over and over as the other students laughed as the director forced him down from the risers. It was a noisy and difficult scene that ended in the office. Tony was placed in a typing class.

He was angry and wished he could fight back. His ill feelings toward the director and all those who bullied him just wouldn’t go away. It was difficult because even students who had not been there teased him. “Hey, Tony, did you ever learn to sing?” he heard someone yell a year later.

Tony made excellent grades in high school, and he also continued to enjoy rhythms and tried to learn about music and at times sang with groups. “I’ll show them some day,” he’d say to himself when recalled the debacle. He was proud of himself while working hard and earning whatever accomplishments came his way.

In college, Tony loved business courses and eventually became a successful CPA. He felt that the typing class in junior high had started a dream career that he loved.

Every time Tony thought of the awkward experience in choir, he tried hard to clear his mind. He wanted to forgive and forget, but that day had left a scar.

Many years later he attended his high school class reunion with a purpose. As he greeted friends and glared at some from junior high days, he heard his wife say in his ear, “Remember what we discussed. Be nice. It’s Christmas time and you know what you have to do.”

He finally spotted the director who had led the high school choir in later years. Tony decided that this was the perfect opportunity to get that stone out of his shoe.

He approached the director and made sure he saw his face. “Were you in choir with me?” the director asked.

Tony answered, “No, but I wanted to be.”

Suddenly the director recognized him and extended his hand to Tony. “I remember you, son. That was a bad experience for you and me, but I was too young and inexperienced in matters of courtesy. Did you forgive me because I never forgave myself? Believe me, I acted improperly and I want to apologize now.”

After a few moments Tony said, “It’s hard to understand what you did and I have never forgotten your words. But my Christmas present to you is that I forgive you.”

The director hugged Tony and asked,” Did you ever make it out of that typing class?”

Tony answered, “After I excelled there, I found a career in business. I am now a CPA.”

“Oh, boy,” the director said, “now I can let you prepare my taxes.”

Tony said with a smile, “I forgave you, sir, but don’t push it.”

Tony later made time to catch up with his once teen-aged tormenters who now seemed friendly and changed people. These former clowns are now responsible citizens, he thought. They need to be forgiven even if they don’t even remember how they injured me.

Knowing members of the band at the reunion, Tony asked if he could sing with them. They obliged and as he reached the microphone there was silence as he said,” I’m Tony and I want to sing you a song that’s called ‘Let There Be Peace on Earth,’ written by Jill Jackson Miller and Sy Miller.”

His rendition was amazing and as he repeated the last verse, he invited the choir director and the “friends” to join him and they did. There was hugging and cheering all around. The audience was moved and the applause went on and on.

Tony had forgiven and he was very happy.

It’s during the holidays that we think of pardoning and being pardoned. Let this Christmas be the time when we gather our good thoughts, happy memories and find someone with whom to make peace. When we forgive others, we make room in our hearts to love more.

Merry Christmas. And to all I say, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”

Dora L. Ruiz lives in Los Fresnos.

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